I am not (and have never been) a fan of chili. My most vivid chili memory is the time I was 7 years old and Mom served chili for dinner. I hated it and could not eat it. But Mom was determined that I would, so a battle of wills ensued. I was not allowed to leave the table until my bowl of chili was done. I tried. I gagged. I sat there until bedtime without eating it. I WON!! I went to bed hungry, but Mom never tried to get me to eat it again.
Unfortunately, there are other poor souls in my life (DH comes to mind), who enjoy chili. Not wanting to deprive them of their somewhat questionable choice of food, I have come up with a tried-and-true chili recipe for those of us who live with Chili People. It’s worth every step.
“I DON’T THINK SO” CHILI
(an original recipe by Cathy Kizerian)
- Put shoes on.
- Grab purse and keys.
- Trip over cat as you head for the door.
- Get in car and carefully back out of the driveway.
- Head toward main thoroughfare a block away. Stop at corner and signal for left turn.
- Wait while everyone south of the Canadian border decides they need to get home via this street, blocking your left turn.
- When a reasonable clearing appears, shoot the gap!
- Refrain from flipping the bird to the guy on the cell phone who just honked at you.
- Drive to Del Taco.
- Get in drive-through and order 3 Chicken Soft Tacos.
- Retrieve necessary change from wallet. And console. And under the seat.
- Grab tacos, pay and leave, grateful they won’t remember you tomorrow.
- Return home by retracing your route.
- Park car and grab tacos and purse.
- In the house, watch out for cats underfoot.
- Trip on shoelaces.
- Open cupboard and grab a can of Hormel Chili.
- Slop it into bowl and nuke it for 2 minutes.
- Call DH in for dinner and set bowl of chili in front of him.
- Enjoy your own Chicken Soft Tacos!